Cinema Vorfreude

OH MY CTHULHU! Did you see it!?! That teaser for a commercial for a movie that won’t come out for another year is crazy great! I can’t wait! Who cares that it’s momentary flashes of disparate images that tell you nothing of plot or product quality? That’s why it’s AWESOME!

Cthulhu Hates Movies
I’m still acclimating and may have goofed in adding an original image. In case you can’t read the word bubble, it says, “Cthulhu cares not for your movies. Mostly because theaters have a strict policy against no shirts. Shirts chafe Cthulhu’s sensitive nipples.”

I looked up everything I could about the movie, read all of the leaked rumors, listened and subscribed to podcasts speculating about the speculation, parsed every word of every cryptic tweet from the director and writers, created a sub-Reddit, liked a Facebook fan page for the teaser trailer, changed my forum username to what I think the third extra in the background of that one half-second clip should be named, got a tattoo of the back of the head of that cloaked figure, because I know this movie is going to be AMAZING!

Why would I wait until the movie–sorry, film comes out to see if it’s good? I can’t wait! I need everything immediately and preferably before anybody else so that I can have some strange sense of satisfaction and status about being the first to ruin a movie for myself.

force awakens swiss army knife
Image source

This isn’t the same as the time I hired the hacker group to try and download the outline of the first draft of the Avengers screenplay, or the time I hired a ninja to break into George R.R. Martin’s humble, nautical-themed bungalow just to bring me back the scent of his thoughts about the next Game of Thrones novel, or even the time I kind of stalked Jason Segel to try and catch a picture of his dingle-dangle in the bathroom in anticipation of Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I’m only pursuing legal channels to see the boner-inducing/forcing tidbits of the movie that’s a year away.

I just love wanting to see something. It’s so much more satisfying than actually watching the movie.

It’s why I got into tantra. After the climax of all that anticipation, that’s when the regret and disappointment sets in. Once everything is over, all of the excitement is gone. Appreciate that I appreciate the buildup. What takes up more of your life, the anticipation or the actual experience? That’s why I focus on the anticipation. It takes up more of my time, which is why I’m trying to maximize my pleasure. Thank you for helping me with that, teaser trailers.

Post Script: the word “vorfreude” in the title is a German word that means “the joy that comes from the anticipation for future joy.”

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8 Comments

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  1. So, is this the foaming in the mouth anticipation or the moaning in the dark sort? I experienced the full tilt for The Lord of the Rings Trilogy… no nipple problems – then again – mine are smallish. Stay thirsty – does that work?

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  2. Yes, I can’t be excited by things too far in the future. Coming out next month? Cool. Next year? Summer 2016? Nope nope nope. I could be a whole different PERSON by then.

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  3. Some of the trailers I’ve seen at the theater lately are way too far in the future, and sometimes they are the worst ones to see! So I’ll just sit and wait. Although the 50 shades one is anticipated cuz you wonder how in the world they are going to pull that book off in the theater?

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  4. That movie sucks. I mean, a black storm trooper? But… clones!

    I’m past it and ready to start critiquing Episode 8.

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  5. Make all the fun you want of those weirdo Star Wars fanatics but if you ever say one word against The Avengers, I’ll fuckin cut you.

    And thanks for expanding my vocabulary! “Vorfreude” is now my new favourite word.

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  6. abeerfortheshower December 1, 2014 — 9:51 am

    Yeah, but dude, did you see the part where the thing exploded? The thing. Exploded. And that, by extension, already tells me that this is going to be a 5 star film that we’ll be talking about for decades.

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  7. I like Star Wars, mostly because anyone from my generation pretty much HAS to, so when I saw the teaser (teaser to the trailer…that’s just dumb) I was a little excited, until I saw it wasn’t coming out for a year! Then I was mad. Then I imagined all the things in between now and then that will come out about the movie, because, hello, a whole year! I have a friend who doesn’t want to see or read anything about the movie and I’m like, ‘good luck, buddy!’

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  8. I don’t understand teasers. Or trailers. I just want to see the movie. (Not this movie, especially.) I must be missing something culturally.

    However, I was disappointed that in this ad for an ad, Han Solo was not there shaking his fist and angrily demanding the Sith get off his lawn, or that Luke Skywalker didn’t appear with a walker.

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