A Sleep Deprived Boxing Kangaroo

I just got done with working twelve days in a row some of those being 12+ hour days. Did I mention my job is salary not hourly? On top of that the only two other people in my department quit. I’m the bellhop still serving food in a burning building. I’m the band on the Titanic. No, worse, I’m the triangle player on Titanic and I lost the metal stick I need to play the triangle but there I sit in the back row, hoping no one notices. On top of that, I am having the hardest time getting a full night of sleep.

Pretty sure that's a keg, which explains the anger of crushing the thing and the sadness in his eyes.
Pretty sure that’s a keg, which explains the anger of crushing the thing and the sadness in his eyes. Source

Couple that with my already being generally angry at the world and I have turned into one of those boxing kangaroos. I’m real punchy and you don’t know when or where the hits are going to come from. It’s like taking a kangaroo, prodding it with tasers so it can’t sleep, then feeding it Jagermeister and talking to it about politics.

These have been dark days. Pointless arguments that I would normally avoid because there’s no upside and I have better things to do, were instead reprioritized. I argued with someone on the internet! All I had to do is not respond. All I had to do is continue to do what I was doing, nothing. Just keep on shutting up. It’s easy to shut up, so why don’t I continue to not speak? I don’t really care about the validation of the person on the other end of the conversation, I don’t feel like I need their blessings of my opinions, fears, or choices. Let them think they’re morally superior, let them think they have so much more going on. Who cares if  “someone is wrong on the internet?” But, instead, I punched good sense in its dumb face and argued with people on the internet, the equivalent of trying to put out a dumpster fire by patting it with your bare hands.

A visual representation of internet arguments and my rationality. Image Source
A visual representation of internet arguments and my rationality. Image courtesy of Wondermark

Don’t I have better things to do than argue with a self-righteous, humorless blog-goblins? Obviously not because this poor decision making has extended to real life. I got into a shouting match with a moron in a parking lot. I was trying to turn left out of a lane and he was blocking my way. I turn on my left blinker, he turns on his right blinker. Here’s the problem: the lane I was coming down was one-way. So he’s blocking me trying to exit by going the wrong way down a one-way lane. I roll down my window and yell, “it’s one way.” He responds, “Yeah, going that way,” gesturing the wrong direction. “No, it’s one way going the direction I’m going, hence why the cars are all pointed in one direction, the opposite direction you want to go so just go to the correct lane, the next lane and stop wasting everyone’s time!” He continues to fight against a blatant truth by retorting, “It’s one way that way!” And this is why everyone having guns does not make the world safer. Somebody would have had to have protected me from myself if I had a gun in that moment.

I want to scream this at others, and at myself.
I want to scream this at others, and at myself.

Arguing facts against someone so entrenched in just winning an argument no matter the truth is absurd. So, why the overwhelming compulsion to correct that person? Is it just a narcissism thing? Is the only thing that remains after exhaustion has depleted you of all else is ego? Or does sleepiness make me a grump? In my current state, am I being hyper-aggressive like I need to assert my dominance? If I saw a syphilitic bear with rabies doused in acid, would I feel the need to wrestle it? I better not venture into the woods.


Add yours →

  1. Lack of sleep does crazy things to us. It makes me grumpy and hyper and not nice to know.
    My doc has prescribed me sleeping pills to help sleeping on the plane and hopefully help me avoid jet lag. I sure don’t want to be sleep deprived crazy when interacting with people with guns


  2. Just reading this made my stress level go up! That sounds horrible. My family is going through a stressful time too – they’re trying to move and there’s all these issues on the house they want to buy and they may end up needing to rent and they have barely packed etc etc. I know what it’s like to be in that danger place – they’re all “I’m fine, something will work out.” one moment and “AHHHH WHY I HAD TO MAKE DINNER TONIGHT AND NO ONE HELPED CLEAN UP I AM MAD AT THE WORLD” the next.

    Hope sunnier skies are in your future!


  3. abeerfortheshower October 12, 2015 — 7:09 am

    Sorry to hear it, my friend. We’ve all been there. All of those situations. Working massive overtime for salary (I’m here for free – yay!), arguing with trolls on the Internet, arguing with trolls in parking lots. A morbidly obese man (who got winded just wheezing at me) once tried to fight me in a parking lot because he almost ran me and the wife over – in a crosswalk – and I shouted at him to watch where he was going.

    It’s a mad world out there. Don’t let the madness take you. Humor – it’s what separates us from the animals. And angry, diabetic trolls.


  4. I am consistently amazed by how many people drive the wrong way down busy streets and seem completely unconcerned about it.

    I don’t think you have to be sleep-deprived to be irritated by that.

    I’m probably just a bigger jerk than you, though.


  5. Oh, my dear, you do need to get some sleep!


  6. Debra She Who Seeks October 12, 2015 — 9:05 am

    Been there, done that. All of it. I hope your job demands ease up and you can get some time off and adequate sleep so you won’t be a sour pickle any more!


  7. Lullaby, and goodnight, little Pickleope, sleep tight, take your Xanax, night-night, have a Valium and some Prozac, too, I won’t overdose, nor will you.

    Poppies, poppies, sleep, sleep, forget the Emerald City. Poppies . . .

    No flying monkeys, unless they come out of your butt.

    The Sugar Plum Fairy, who joins forces with The Green Fairy

    P.S. Here’s the bottle of absinthe.


  8. Oh Pickleope Von Pickleope, I feel your pain. I spend far too much time trying to convince moronic buttheads that they’re wrong. But the work needs to be done. Someone’s gotta do it. To accept hatred and ignorance is, some say, and I believe, just as bad and dangerous as spewing it. I think it’s a matter of how we do it and when we let go – so as to prioritize self-care. Hah. That’s a tough one. How can one take care of oneself while arguing with an idiot? I don’t know, but if anyone can, it’s you, Pickleope Von Pickleope.


  9. Hell yeah lack of sleep does a lot to a body, which is why it has been used as form of torture


  10. Even though I am older and wiser than I used to be the same shit happens, but to a lesser degree. You’ll get through it. There will always be idiots in the world, but you will have days without having to deal with them. Get some sleep and drink plenty of fluids.


  11. Its this kind of rage that nearly got my car smashed to a dented heap by a redneck with a baseball bat while we were both trying to exit a crowded parking lot on the 4th of July. Idiots. The lot of us.


  12. The problem with our world is that there are far too many idiot asshats out there and they are allowed to procreate.
    I know what you mean by hyper-aggressive sleeplessness or was that sleepiness. Anywho, I get the same way when my crappy back pain keeps me awake. Take 2 indica buds and call me in the morning.


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