Oh, you think I’d really love this band, so much so that you took the time to find an external CD drive, track down a place that sells blank CD’s like a modern Indiana Jones, makes a personally curated playlist where you don’t make a “track list” you label the songs as “chapters”, and included a jewel case where you created a photoshopped album art sleeve with my face in the place of all the band members because you are so certain that I would love this band?
Well, I listened to the CD. My only question is, what the hell? This is what you think I’d like? You think I would like this? What vibe am I putting out that you’d think I’d like this? I obviously strike you as someone who would enjoy…this…this…uh, interesting interpretation of the sonic arts?
You’re right, this was you making a great effort to gift me a new musical treat to tickle my eardrums. But seriously, do you like this music? I know that music is subjective, but I have to wonder about your subjective assessment of me and my personality.
Yes, I also watched that show you thought was “personally crafted for me.” After watching it, I feel like a media victim. I feel like my eyes have been violated by horrific visuals that you forced upon my ocular cavities. It was horrible, horrifically terrifyingly poorly constructed in all aspects. I think less of you as a result and less of me for anyone ever having thought I would have even a moderate interest in such blisteringly stupid drivel. I don’t like what Netflix suggests for me and they’re working with an algorithm, what chance do you and your “feelings” have for landing on something I’d like?
Have I ever recommended anything to you? Of course not. I’ve said I liked a show and art style and tweet and video and book. But, I have never dared to say that, in the world of the subjective, any particular person would specifically enjoy a particular thing. Over time you will understand my general leanings and you can cherry pick the things that I like without the dangerous presumption of forcing my interests on others.
Let me put it this way, have you ever clicked on a banner ad on any website? No, right? And those are based on your entire internet search history, everything online that you have ever been interested in. Yet, they can’t manage to conjure a banner ad that piques your interest enough to click, they can’t, with all that information, induce the littlest twitch of your finger. That’s why I’m offended by your hubris to think you can do better and suggest something that I would like to read, watch or listen to, and why I will never suggest anything to you.