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July 3, 2015 / 3 comments

The Most American American to Ever America America
June 29, 2015 / 14 comments

A Lament for Traditionalists
June 22, 2015 / 14 comments

Damn You for Damning Me, Suicidal Bird
June 18, 2015 / 20 comments

How to Reject Nice Gestures Without Even Trying
June 15, 2015 / 22 comments

Summer for the Insecure
June 11, 2015 / 9 comments

This is What It’s Like to be One of Dr. Moreau’s Beasts
June 8, 2015 / 17 comments

A Stomach Made of Porcelain and Spite
June 4, 2015 / 7 comments

The Smear Campaign I Have Against Myself
June 1, 2015 / 19 comments

My Involuntary Presidential Run
May 28, 2015 / 15 comments

Things I Know Thanks to Television
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